fac
Sanjiv: The Lifegiver
It was one of the most innocuous rings on my mobile but proved to be the dreaded phone call which we had all come to expect. My mother-in-law who had been ailing for over five years had collapsed informed my brother in-law’s voice at the other end of the phone. Could I please inform my wife about this and make arrangements for tickets to Bangalore?
The next few hours were a whirl as I tried to get through to my house, secure permission for leave, and book tickets to Bangalore from Mumbai on a late night flight. After frantic efforts we were aboard, me, my wife and son. Throughout the flight my wife put up a brave front and managed to look after my 11 month old son. As soon as the flight landed and she saw her brother, the grief which she had managed to hide beneath a brave façade gave way. Brother embraced sister and the tears flowed.
A half an hour ride back home and then there were more expressions of grief as she saw her mother lying dead in the living room of my brother in law’s home. My wife’s sister’s eyes as well as that of the wife of my brother-in-law revealed that the tears had flowed freely but the dam hadn’t really burst. This was to burst not as a river in spate but in short bursts over the next few days. My father-in-law looked stunned and there were a few others milling around. The talk centered around the tough life my mother-in-law had spent undergoing dialysis in the last few years of her life and how it was really a miracle that she had managed to live so long despite her ailment which necessitated three trips a week to the hospital for dialysis.
John Donne's famous poem ‘Death be not Proud’ clearly held no meaning at a time like this. In the midst of all this my son suddenly decided to give expression to his feelings. Child that he was, not for him the profound sadness of such occasions. Suddenly he was laughing and moving around even as his grandmother's dead body lay only a few inches away from him. The very same persons who only a few moments had been seized by grief. were now responding to this spontaneous expression of joy which could come from only a child on such an occasion. He was being gathered in the arms of people and they too were sharing in the laughter. Not one person thought here was anything incongruous in this. After all he was a child. Even as one life had come to an end another had taken shape. It was almost as though everyone was being reminded of a truism as old as time itself --No matter what, life must go on.
Today, when I look back , I cannot help thinking that Sanjiv, that is my son had been named with a purpose. He had been named after the life giving plant Sanjivani which finds mention in the Ramayana, a part of Indian mythology.ets of life: facets of life: Facets of Life
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Facets of Life
Sense and Simplicity
I was speaking to Akul the other day. All of 11 years his world view is very clear. What mummy, daddy and teacher say have to be necessarily right. Life is all about playing with other children, protecting his 7 year -old sister and occasionally having to endure uncle Ravindran's telephonic questions on girlfriends.
While he confesses to like talking to uncle Ravindran, when the subject of girlfriends is brought up he takes recourse to a very simple method of discontinuing the conversation, " Would you like to talk to mummy," he asks politely and passes the telephone to his mother.
While talking to Akul the other day, I asked him what was he doing during his vacation. H e said that he was studying Why ? Shouldn't he be really playing with other children? Wasn't vacation the time to do such things? No. "How will I come first in class if I don’t' study now ? he said ever so simply .
I had to continue trying to have fun at his expense of course . “My dear friend”, I said with an air of wisdom, “Look at all the rich persons. Did any of them really come first in class ? Do you want to come first in class or do you want to be rich.”
"Come first of course," he said in all innocence and in a voice that hinted that I was not quite intelligent enough to understand such things. He was of course too polite to say any such thing . It was my turn to ask to speak to his mother.
On the other hand, take the conversation that I have with most of my other friends. When I recently talked of doing my MBA, I was roundly discouraged. The question usually asked was "Why do you want to waste time and money on such endeavors.
“Aren’t' you already holding a senior position in communications. Come on pal, focus on making money and retiring early”, thus went the advice.
Well. I took that advice and thought that it was more worthwhile improving my lot in life by working, saving, investing and planning to retire rich. The advice was impeccable after all. and the logic compelling. On the wrong side of 40 with a wife and kid to support and ever reducing career spans brought about by long work hours, it was safer to take this route. Not for me the road less traveled.
I wish however that I could share Akul's worldview .The simplicity of his thoughts on life. His conviction that coming first in class and by extension that education is more important than getting rich. And yes share his conviction, mummy, daddy and in my case the wife and boss are always right.
I was speaking to Akul the other day. All of 11 years his world view is very clear. What mummy, daddy and teacher say have to be necessarily right. Life is all about playing with other children, protecting his 7 year -old sister and occasionally having to endure uncle Ravindran's telephonic questions on girlfriends.
While he confesses to like talking to uncle Ravindran, when the subject of girlfriends is brought up he takes recourse to a very simple method of discontinuing the conversation, " Would you like to talk to mummy," he asks politely and passes the telephone to his mother.
While talking to Akul the other day, I asked him what was he doing during his vacation. H e said that he was studying Why ? Shouldn't he be really playing with other children? Wasn't vacation the time to do such things? No. "How will I come first in class if I don’t' study now ? he said ever so simply .
I had to continue trying to have fun at his expense of course . “My dear friend”, I said with an air of wisdom, “Look at all the rich persons. Did any of them really come first in class ? Do you want to come first in class or do you want to be rich.”
"Come first of course," he said in all innocence and in a voice that hinted that I was not quite intelligent enough to understand such things. He was of course too polite to say any such thing . It was my turn to ask to speak to his mother.
On the other hand, take the conversation that I have with most of my other friends. When I recently talked of doing my MBA, I was roundly discouraged. The question usually asked was "Why do you want to waste time and money on such endeavors.
“Aren’t' you already holding a senior position in communications. Come on pal, focus on making money and retiring early”, thus went the advice.
Well. I took that advice and thought that it was more worthwhile improving my lot in life by working, saving, investing and planning to retire rich. The advice was impeccable after all. and the logic compelling. On the wrong side of 40 with a wife and kid to support and ever reducing career spans brought about by long work hours, it was safer to take this route. Not for me the road less traveled.
I wish however that I could share Akul's worldview .The simplicity of his thoughts on life. His conviction that coming first in class and by extension that education is more important than getting rich. And yes share his conviction, mummy, daddy and in my case the wife and boss are always right.
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